so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm at about main and main street
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
