Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
