better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You pole danced in your parka.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
