I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
