plz talk dirty to me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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