go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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