So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
