I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize