Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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