I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
