That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
sarcasm needs its own font
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
