I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
