Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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