hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
