You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
