so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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