He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
