she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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