Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
