I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
