Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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