your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
