I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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