OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
