I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize