U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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