She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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