I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
