I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
