Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
