someone owes me an orgasm
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
