I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
