walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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