all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
