He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
