doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
