i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
