You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
