It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
