pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
