$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
