wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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