Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize