well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
