Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
A+ Viking dick
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
