I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
