i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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