Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
