hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
