His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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