there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How's work?
Spinning.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
