Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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