What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
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