We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
