i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
