she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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