zippers are such a cool invention
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
