he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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