I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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