Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They are going to name an STD after you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
