dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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