Christians are straight up FREAKS
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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